My dear friend Lula, she is a 95-year-old African-American woman, who has lived in the same house in East Austin for over 50 years. Lula is an amazing human being, and I am honored to have her insight, wisdom, humor, and friendship as part of my life. Wednesday after class I had a date with Lula, to go to the DPS office to renew her driver's license. I thought it was funny that the date was on the same day we were talking about ageism :-) Lula lives alone and her closest relatives are in the Houston area, and since her daughter passed away about 10 years ago, I have assumed many roles that her daughter once played.
Lula did not need to renew her license until December 10, and it would've worked so much better for me to wait until after classes were over, but she was so anxious about being denied her drivers license. So, I bit the bullet and just went ahead and did it whenever it would work best for her. I know that she is nervous about not being able to take care of herself, and dislikes having to rely on people to take care of her. Having her license allows her to drive three blocks to her church and about a mile to the closest grocery store.
Lula does have two other friends who are retired who often take her to the grocery, Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and to Goodwill. I suggested several times that one of those ladies take her to the DPS office. She just kept saying "No. Carol, I'd rather you take me". when I asked her why, she said that the other two women kept telling her that she wouldn't be able to get her license again... I was shocked because one is in her early 60s and the other one is almost 70 and they are extremely active and independent women.
I just couldn't fathom why they would say those things, because not only is upsetting to Lula, but like it or not they are in the same category of "elderly". I'm pretty sure as long as they are physically and cognitively able they will want to remain independent and drive themselves. When she told me what they said, I completely understood why she did not want them to go with her. It also encouraged me to clear a few hours from my schedule, because I wanted to help Ms. Lula prove them wrong.
Lula was so happy and empowered when we walked out of the DPS office, with her drivers license renewed. While we were there, I also asked questions about how and when people are denied their license due to aging, in the hopes that it will help alleviate her anxiety in the future.
I hope that over the next two years Lula's health will remain the same, and we will celebrate her 97th birthday-- by taking another trip to the DPS office.
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